Biker Wisdom

A motorcycle cannot fall over without an audience. ( See Ninjato )

The odds of a motorcycle falling over are directly proportional to the size of the audience and of the owner's ego. (Newness and expense of the bike are contributing factors.)

Midnight Bugs taste Best

Motorcycles are to yellow bugs as aircraft carriers once were to Kamikaze pilots.

You will not feel the need to go to the restroom until after you have put on your rainsuit.

The fact that your keys are still in your pants pocket will only become apparent after you have put on your gloves.

Nothing is harder to start than a used motorcycle being shown to a prospective buyer.

You will never suffer a punctured tire on the road until you leave the repair kit at home.

"Universal" accessories are so named because that is what you must search to find the bike they fit.

Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.

Never try to race an old Geezer, he may have one more gear than you.

Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.
(especially applicable for Harleys )

Bikes don't leak oil: they mark their territory. ( See Above )

You'll get farther down the road if you learn to use more than two fingers on the front brake.

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.

Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes.

A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover.

People are like bikes, each is customized a bit differently.

The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.

Only Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.

Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.

Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of gas before you can think straight.

If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals. You may even have to shave.

Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.

Never mistake Horsepower for staying power.

A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by placing it in the crotch between the two cylinders.

Pie and Coffee are as important as gasoline.

Never do less than Forty miles before breakfast.

If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride.

A bike on the road is worth 2 in the shop.

Respect the person who has seen the Dark side of motorcycling and lived.

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't. ( Pray You Have the Choice )

Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.

Always back your scoot into the curb-and sit where you can see it.

Work to ride-Ride to work.

Whatever it is, it's better in the wind.

You can forget what you do for a living when your knees are in the breeze.

No matter what marquee you ride, it's all the same wind.

A biker can smell a party 2500 miles away.

Two lane blacktop isn't a highway, it's a mindset.

When you look down the road, it seems to never end, but you better believe it does.

Winter is Natures way of telling you to polish. ( Not Applicable In Southern Climates )

Keep your bikes in good repair: riding boots are NOT comfortable for walking.

NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench

Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.

Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 60 weight motor oil. ( I'll disagree with this one )

Pie and Coffee are as important as gasoline.

Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your butt.

The twisties - not the superslabs - separate the bikers from the squids.

Never be afraid to slow down.

Some bikes run on 99-octane ego.

If you ride like there's no tomorrow, there won't be.

Gray-haired bikers don't get that way from pure luck.

There are drunken bikers. There are old bikers. There are NO old, drunken bikers.

Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.

The best alarm clock is sunshine on Chrome.

Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.

Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.

When you're riding lead--don't spit.

If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least 5 cars ahead.

Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.

If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.

A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down. ( MY Buddy Dale )

If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.

Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're goin'. ( Listening Styles )

Sleep with one arm thru the spokes and keep your pants on.

Routine maintenance should never be neglected

Practice wrenching on your own bike.

Quick fixes are so named for how long they stay fixed.

The only part you really need will also be the only part on permanent backorder.

Maintenance is as much art as it is science.

If the bike ain't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.

Beware the biker who says the bike never breaks down.

Owning 2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.

If you can't get it goin' with bungee cords and electricians tape-it's serious.

Always replace the cheapest parts first.

A good wrench will let you watch without charging you for it.

If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind--follow her.

You'll know she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike. Don't do it and she'll love you even more.

Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.

Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.

A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of gasoline.

If the countryside seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in the ditch long enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.

Bikes parked out front mean good chicken-fried steak inside.

If you want to complain about the pace being set by the road captain, you better be prepared to lead the group yourself.

Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won't save you from "road rash" if you go down.

The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.

It takes both pistons and cylinders to make a bike run. One is not more important than the other.

Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling when you feel like stripping your gears.

These have been floating around the net for years.
I have added the smilies and comments in (brackets)